Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I will be successful... at something...maybe...

So, you know how those interviews with super successful people go:

Interviewer: So, when you first started doing x did you know that it would become what it has.
Super Successful Business Person: No, I had no idea!  I was just doing my thing with no ambition, whatsoever and BAM, I became successful.

Well, that probably WON'T be me.

It is kinda embarrassing to admit, but I think/hope/dream I am going to be successful at EVERYTHING I do.  I thought I was going to be a *famous* engineer.  Before I graduated, I saw myself speaking at conferences, writing (engaging) papers, explaining how to best implement a new technology into fighter jets...  Instead, I was doing testing, editing papers explaining old technology, running errands - like mailing off classified boxes.  It sucked.

Me, at my desk at my engineering job (writing a blog post, apparently)...
So, I quit.  And became a teacher.  I thought I was going to be like that teacher on Lean On Me, changing those kids lives.  I was going to teach them that math was fun - and even though it would be challenging, they could learn it!  In fact, they could learn ANYTHING.  Well, that was a colossal FAIL, also.

Me, modeling my wears.
Items for sale at a craft fair.
So, I quit.  And I was a stay-at-home mom.  When I quit my teaching job I thought: "Oh yeah, here is my chance to do my crafts full time.  I will build up my AyanaRED brand, I will make stuff and sell it in my etsy shop...  I will be like those famous Etsy Sellers.  Maybe I won't make a lot of money, but at least I will be some making money doing what I loved (which is what those famous Etsy sellers always say)... Well, turns out, *not making a lot of money* is an understatement. When I did the calculation, I was making somewhere close to $1-$2/hour.  AND I hated making the same stuff over and over again.

Then I started working at a for-profit school a.k.a a complete rip-off, pretend-education, joke-of-a-school.  I can't even type the name because 1.) They would probably sue me with their super high-priced attorneys and 2.) if I type it out, I will be seeing their ads in my gmail for months.  This school charged for an associate's degree about twice what I paid for a bachelor's degree at a private school.  And um, I am STILL paying off my student loans!  Honestly, I did not have extremely high hopes of becoming super successful working there.  But I ended up getting fired, anyway.

So THEN, I started vlogging.  And I immediately saw myself as one of those famous mommy vloggers who just shows her everyday life and people watch - and they get thousands of subscribers and sponsers...  Yada Yada.  Well, I stopped vlogging.  I got sick of it.  I got sick of showing off my junky, dirty house.  I got sick of ALWAYS carrying the camera.  I got sick of spending time editing.  Do you know that I spent a good 1.5-3 hours editing every.single.night?  Honestly, I LOVE editing videos.  I just don't love spending time every.single.night.  And, making those videos is like entertaining company.  It is really nice, sometimes - just not everyday, ya know?

Me, vlogging...
And now?  What I am I doing?  I am trying to become an artist.  Yes, I have high hopes for that also.  I plan to open my etsy shop up as an art gallery and sell my art and prints of my art and get a deal with a card company or something and sell the images - oh and maybe illustrate children's books too... Yeah, I plan to become a famous artist.

My latest painting...

Ha!  We'll see how that goes.


Jennifer Elisabeth said...

I love your optimism. Without it, you might have never experienced even half of what you have, so far. You're a beautiful mother, crafter & artist. Do what is in your heart, and if that changes, it was meant to be that way. <3

Windy City Mama said...

I can relate!

Your paintings are beautiful and you ARE a wonderful artist in everything that you do as mother, vlogger, and crafter.

Much success in your newest endeavor!

Rochelle Sodipo Washington said...

The story of my life! LOL! We are all evolving.

Ayana Red said...

Thank you ladies!!!

Wittychiq said...

One venture paves the way for the next. I have over the years dabbled in talents that I didn't see through. The beauty is that there is still a chance. Best wishes to you on your new venture.