Monday, March 16, 2009

Look Ma! No Ankles!

So I have finally entered the throes of the joys of pregnancy: neck like Flava Flav, splotchy face, swollen feet, bladder with the capacity of a thimble, and constant constipation.... Yep, it's a great time.

The doctors told me to drink more water. The lack of water is why my ankles are swollen and also why I keep having 'fake' contractions (more on that later). Okay, I'll drink more water. Yesterday I drank probably a gallon and a half of water. But remember the tiny bladder?

Yeah, I didn't either. I had to use the bathroom every 2-3 hours. Which got slightly inconvenient at 3am... and 6am. Especially with my stomach all up in the way. Do you know how hard it is to get out of bed with 10 extra pounds of weight on your belly (the baby weighs 7.3 pounds - and I am just guesstimating the fluids)? Really hard. And uncomfortable.

It gets especially uncomfortable sitting on the toilet. Which brings me to the absolute worst symptom of pregnancy: Constipation.

I am not the type of person that likes chillin on the toilet, anyway. Nope, no magazines for me, I am usually out in 30 sec or less. I have a system. I know when to go, how to sit, and when to push.

Well, having this big fat low belly puts a cramp in my system. I have to sit (sorry so graphic) with my legs open - which hinders the bowels from passing - which are rock hard, anyway. The torture of being so close, yet so far... I get chills, I start crying, I call my mom (she tells me to eat some grapes). But I am trying RIGHT now, mom - I can't get up. I meditate, I pray. Lord, please don't let me get hemorrhoids. Finally, I tell E to bring me the canister of Prunes. I eat 5 in a row. It works. But, the stools, the rock hard stools STOP up the toilet!

Can you imagine? Having these evil, wretched stools staring at you indefinitely after torturing you for an hour? Well, it sucks.

And so does the last month of pregnancy.


Steph said...

poor thing! sounds like you need to look at different foods to add fiber to your diet. Try consistently eating high fiber foods: collard or turnip greens, raisins, prunes, apples, pears, lentils, split peas, Activia, and lots of water... be more conscious about your diet. you might want to start the day with bran cereal and a piece of fruit

Ayana said...

Thanx Steph,
But I DO eat high fiber foods. I eat prunes, I make spinach almost everyday. I even juiced a beet last night and this morning and drank that. Still...

I guess I can try to eat more.

Steph said...

ooooh.... what does your doctor say? do you exercise (lightly, of course)? are you drinking enough water? i'm like you. i HATE sitting on the toilet... its such a waste of time. i usually have to go right after i eat an EARLY (like, 6a-7:30a) breakast containing raisins or eggs. There might be some herbal teas out there that can help.

Eesh said...

Congratulations on your pregnancy! My feet looked like that and worse when I was pregnant. The only thing that helped was sitting with my feet up.

You are quite brave for actually posting the picture. I was rightfully horrified by mine lol ;)