MRS.

So… I got married (legally) on Saturday. Don’t worry. The cruise is still on – I just didn’t want to be walking bow-legged on the ship in front of everyone. I also wanted to move into my new house without my family disapproving of E and I co-habitating when they visit us on the 13^th . I know it is cohabiting but cohabitating is much easier to say. Go ahead and try it.

To be honest we have been practically living together for the past 5 months. Go ahead condemn me. I don’t care!!! Well, actually I do. That’s why I wouldn’t let him move all of his things in my old place. He had a suitcase there with clothes and toiletries – but I wouldn’t allow him to bring over his dresser, ECT. He couldn’t understand why not. Because, I explained, that would mean we would be living together. And we can not co-habitate. It is a sin. My family would not approve. Never mind the fact that he was there every single night. As long as he didn’t move in officially – everything was all good.

Although he was there (every single night), we never actually did the do. That DOES count, right? Although I wanted to (I really, really, really wanted to), we didn’t. Where’s my cookie?

So, Saturday we got married. It was inside the pastor’s study. Only 5 witnesses: his parents, my uncle and aunt, and my sister. We went to the Olive Garden afterwards. It was fun. I know what you are thinking: Ok, when is she going to get to the good part? Because I was thinking the same thing at the time.

So, I will just fast-forward a little. Finally, we are in the car to go home. I was so nervous on the way there I could hardly speak. We just rode in silence. We get there. But he needs to go to the store to get some things for the house. So, I am relieved. I get a little time to get myself and the room together. He takes way too long at the store. I call my mom and my sister. My sister gives me some tips. My mom acts like nothing big is about to happen. I am getting irritated by the minute. What is taking him so long? I call him – several times. He had to go back to his old-old place, the place that he lived before he started spending all his time with me. I forget why he went there – I am just mad he is there. He had to stop at the liquor store to get some Moët because Kroger didn’t have any. I don’t care about no Moët!!! (even though, as he pointed out, I did ask for it) Get some Jack Daniels, for goodness sakes! Kroger doesn’t sell Jack Daniels either but you get my point.

So finally he comes home and yada-yada-yada... the pain. Oh, the pain. I could not believe the PAIN. I made him stop. WHY would women want to do it!! Why would they continue to do it!?! I was warned – that I would not enjoy my first time. But I had no idea I would be tortured!! The worst part about it was that I knew I HAD to do it. There was no way I could get through life (married) without doing it on a regular. They said it would get better – but I could not imagine it being anytime soon.

Thankfully it has gotten much better. I still have a little ways to go.