Friday, November 11, 2011

Baby Blues Part 2

I am living my dream life, really...  Taking care of my kids who are so funny and beautiful, making stuff I love and patterns, too.  Cooking whatever I feel like whenever I feel like it - making my own schedule.  I should happy - really, really happy.

But no.  Everything is overwhelmed by a dark shadow. I am so angry all the time.  So annoyed.  Especially at E.  When I think (logically) about his infractions that PISS. ME. OFF.  I realize, that maybe - just maybe I shouldn't be quite so angry - and that maybe I should get over it.  But I can't.

So, I just ignore him and let my anger simmer - and craft to get away from it all.  I think, if I can finish up this pattern and make a few more things- maybe I will be happy again.  And I am - but only a little and for a short period of time. 

Then I try to increase my production - to increase my happiness.  But with two small ones, there is only so much time I have.  And when I can't do it all, I get short with my son.  And I feel guilty - like I am a horrible mother.  Which makes me feel even worse.

Ugh.  I will be so glad when these baby blues go away!


Rochelle said...

Listen, Picard is two and I still have these moments. I can only imagine what it would be like if I had a baby as well. You're going through normal're just brave enough to speak on it. You'll get through it. You're strong.

Rose's Daughter said...

Keep your head up Mama! This too shall pass!

Carla said...

awww.. *hug*

I've been there -- with the baby blues and all -- and it was terrible. I wish you the best and truly hope that you can get past this phase.

Don't be afraid to seek some help if needed.

Ayana said...

Thanx guys!

ImaQween said...

I've have been there as well. Once your hormones start to stabalize you'll be back to your normal self;)