Baby Blues

So, my baby is almost a week old and we are smitten. But no one more than Zekey. That boy gives her at least a thousand kisses a day. He runs around the house saying: "Where's my baby? I have to check on my sisther." Then he finds her and kisses her on the back of the head.

"Are you okay?" He asks her - even though she is she is sound asleep and perfectly fine.

And she is ALWAYS perfectly fine. She is a perfect baby. Seriously. She is everything Zekey was not. She only cries when she is hungry, needs her diaper changed, or just wants to be held. And sometimes she doesn't even need to be held. I can just put her in her bouncer and she is just as content. She is clearly E's child. SUPER mellow.

While Zekey is mine. He was only NOT crying during his 10 min sleep spells (because that is how long he would sleep) or when he was nursing. He wanted to nurse every single second of every single day. And I didn't know how to nurse so I let that boy suck on my nipples (instead of the areola) which left them raw and ragged. It felt like lighters were held to my nipples. Pain.Ful.

But not this girl. She is very patient. And I am somewhat of a pro. *pat's self on the back* I make sure she latches on correctly and if she is not - I take it out of her mouth and do it again. One night I had to do that 10-15 times. And she was cool with it.

And of course E loves her lots.

It probably doesn't hurt that she looks just like his family.

So, we have a wonderful, cozy little family. I should be ecstatic. I should be making her all kinds of stuff, taking a thousand pictures.

But I am not.

I have this lingering 'down-ness'. That turns into full fledged tears every so often. I know it is just the hormones. And I actually was expecting it. I was having prepartum blues before she was born. You would think that would have prepared me for postpartum depression.

But it doesn't.