My sister and I got into one of our many arguments on ‘Good Hair’ vs. ‘Nappy Hair’ Sunday when I was visiting. We both have ‘Nappy Hair’, but something about people considering straight wavy hair, “Good Hair” that drives me nuts. Maybe it is because I had a complex about my hair when I was younger. Actually, I’ve only recently gotten over my complex a couple of years ago when I started growing locs.
So naturally, I am all about other black girls ‘freeing their minds’ and going natural. However, my sister believes that wavy, straight hair is ‘Good Hair’ and takes it personal that I consider her permed hair – mediocre. So we argued about it Sunday… until she started using curse words.
Although she is no stranger to profanity, I expect her to not use it when we are arguing. I told her as much. She told me not to expect her to just cut off her use of profanity just because we are arguing. I left.
I don’t like leaving an argument unfinished but I felt like I was being disrespected. And I REFUSE to be disrespected. What am I supposed to do, just sit there while she curses me out?
Anyway, we haven’t really made back up yet. I called her a couple of times. But both of the calls were fruitless. Actually, the last time I called things got worse. Apparently, she has a lot of other stuff going on and she doesn’t feel like dealing with our “small” issue. Maybe it is because I am so emotional, maybe it is because I am sensitive. But I HATE things being unresolved (especially with people I am close to). I believe that in order to have a healthy, relationship (with anyone), issues must be resolved as quickly as possible. When problems aren’t solved, they can easily create other problems.
But what can I do about it? It takes two people to solve the problem. So that leaves me with two options. I can either keep caring a lot and wait until she is ready to deal with it (if she will ever want to deal with it), or I can just stop caring at all.