Saturday, February 18, 2006

So maybe I am not the healthiest person...

I need to go on a diet (I say that as I munch on cookies). I mean, really. This is getting ridiculous. The problem is, I am not the dieting type. I don’t have enough discipline to diet. I want to eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it. Especially bread... Mmmm I love bread. Especially the kind you get at resturants with butter. And of course I always put the butter on it.

However lately, I have been feeling unhealthy. I went to a wholistic/holistic doctor my dad has been trying to get the family to go to. I finally went last week.

When I first came in, I noticed a book on the table with the title "Your toothbrush may be hurting you." Looking through it I saw some articles on how flouride is really poisonous to us.

When it was finally my turn, this lady that seemed a little wacko came to get me. She started ranting about the effects of flouride. She said that flouride makes us susceptible to brainwashing. She also told me that flouride is the reason 'everybody' believes there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Furthermore, flouride is the reason 'everybody' believes that Princess Diana was killed by a drunk driver. According to the wholistic lady, the queen was behind it.

So she took me back to the doctor, Dr. H. He is a chiropractor, as well as a holistic doctor. I told him that I have a sweet tooth and that I LOVE bread. He asked me a series of questions like how often do I go to the bathroom (to do #2), how long does my menstrual cycle last, ect, ect. When I told him that I don't go everyday, he reacted like I am super uhealthy. He accused me of eating too many burgers at McDonalds and Burger King. Excuse me? I have you know I never eat Mc Donalds OR Burger King. AND I don't even eat beef! Thank you very much!

Then he took me into the other room where he cracked my neck and realigned my spine. Apparently, he is also a chiropractor. Then he used a method called kinesiology to determine if I need water. He placed a small bottle of water in my left hand and tested the strength of my right hand while he asked me a series of questions. If my right hand got weak, then that meant the answer is no. He 'tested' my strength by holding my arm a certain way and asking me to push the back of my hand into his. Freakishly, my arm did get weak after he asked me some questions.

So he told me to drink a lot more water. Actually, he gave me a formula to figure out how much water to drink. You have to take your body weight in pounds, divide it by 2. The answer is the amount of ounces of water you should drink. So, I have to drink 72 ounces, that is about 5 bottles of Dasani.

Do you know how many times you have to go to the bathroom if you drink that much water? A lot. I hate going ever, by the way. I usually wait till the last minute and have to go dancing to the bathroom to prevent an accident. That may be why I don't (do #2) very often. However drinking that much water forces me to go - sometimes twice an hour! I hate that.

He also told me to that I have a yeast throughout my body. Not a yeast infection but a yeast. The yeast is making me crave sugar and that is why I feel like I NEED it. See, it's not even my fault. He then prescribed that I take flax oil - 4 capsuls every morning. I also do not enjoy taking those huge capsuls. I feel like I have a sore throat after I take them.

So last week, I was dancing to the bathroom and forcing horse pills down my throat.

I am still using my flouride, though. My dad had some toothpaste that didn't have fluoride one time and I didn't like it. It doesn't tingle like regular toothpaste. I love the tingle. Makes my teeth feel fresh and clean.


Joe J -- cousin said...

Yo Ayanna,

First, congrats on finding your sister and developing a relationship with them. Second.. I can tell you that these 'health professionals' that you recently saw are nuts. The reason the US is so advanced in medicine is because we practice what is called EVIDENCE based medicine. Medicine that must withstand the scutiny of random standardized trials before the results are considered generalizable to the population. These people are charlatans and you would be wise to save your money and your father's money rather than listen to them. When it comes to water.. the easiest way to tell how much you need is looking at your urine. If it's dark yellow drink more. If it's always clear, then you have enough. Balancing water bottles to see water intake is a parlor trick. We use electrolyte concentrations for that (sodium, potassium, and calcium). If the concentrations are all too high, then you need more water. Also.. this nut case talking about the flouride, she's out of her mind. Flouride is so beneficial to the the health of our teeth that US government put it in the water years ago. I'm sure she knows that and it has precipitated her paranoia. But anyway, don't waste your time with people who probably don't even have a bachelor's degree, much less studied real medicine to any depth. Medicine is not perfect by any means, but in the little that you have said about these clowns, I can tell you that they are probably off by some ways.

Ayana said...

LOL!! Wow, Joseph - I didn't know you felt so strongly about it. But, yeah I figured they were quacks. I knew that I wasn't drinking enough water - and I thought it would be good if I actually drank that much - but I have long since stopped drinking as much as they told me (I couldn't get any work done!).

I did want to continue to take those pills b/c they are good for you anyway (I don't know about the yeast). But anyway, thanx for commenting!

Joe J said...

Yeah, I did sound kind of passionate didn't I? Hee hee. Not all that much, I just can't stand to watch people get duped by imitation health professionals. Lata.