The hardest goal.

Last month, I told myself (and all of my facebook friends) that I would paint on 100 canvases this year. My goal for 2013 is to FINALLY become an artist (I have been whining about it for a few years, now).  So, I set this goal thinking that by the time I finished 100 canvases, I would be a pretty good painter.  If I learned nothing from my 365 vlogs, I learned that practice makes much, much, better.   And if I became a really good painter, I would definitely be considered an artist.

Canvas #9: using acrylic paints

Canvas #16: using oil paints

Canvas #17: Using oil paints, acrylic paints, and acrylic inks

I planned on taking a few online and offline classes, paint on a canvas once every 3 days or so and I would reach my goal.  I thought this goal is not nearly as ambitious as my vlog a day goal.

I was wrong.

First of all, I am probably not going to finish all 100 canvases this year.  It doesn't really matter, though, because becoming an artist doesn't work like that.  (If in fact, you actually do BECOME an artist.)

Becoming an artist (I'm learning) requires a lot of soul-searching.  A lot of letting go.
of perfection
of security
of self-criticism
of previously held beliefs
of one's *idea* of what an artist is.  Hint: You don't have to be a painter of canvases to be an artist.

And letting go must be THE hardest goal I have yet to set.

Good thing I love a challenge. ;)

P.S. I post (a lot of) my paintings on my instagram: ayanared. Follow me!

P.P.S. I post pretty much everything (videos, blog posts, paintings) on my personal facebook page (add me as a friend and let me know how you know me in a message).  I am getting rid of my business page soon (although it seems that my numbers are rising! :-/...).

Thank you for reading!