a misunderstanding between two fools –says my grandfather. Although he isn’t considered the oracle of my dad’s family, he makes a great point.
Why would anyone in their right mind want to be tied to another person; to have to deal with their issues, background, worries, ect? To give up their ‘freedom’. Freedom of worries, of possible (hopefully, not probable) heartache, to date anyone you please. Who in the world would give someone else so much control over their emotions?
Only a person deficient in good judgment. Right?
Well, I’ve joined the legion of fools a couple of weeks ago. I became someone's ‘girlfriend’. I have given up my freedom. I have given someone control over my emotions.
Don’t think that it was easy. The guy (lets call him VP for very persistent) had been 'just a friend' for a while. Even though I knew he liked me in ‘that way’. I had nothing for him, but a platonic friendship. I found a ton of reasons not to like him – he’s younger than me (even though he is the most mature non-40+ year old that I have ever met), he doesn’t smooth talk, or have any kind of decent swagger (even though these qualities are completely useless in a healthy relationship); The bottom line was – which I told him on many occasions was – I just didn’t ‘LIKE’ him like that. And that was final.
You would think VP, would leave someone like me alone. With my ‘correctness’ (cause yes, I correct him too), my crazy emotions, my sensitivity, my overly logical explanations, my bluntness. You would think that he would just say, “Hey, YOU are rejecting me!? Ok, you’re the one missing out!”
Or you would think that I would say “Hey, guy, quit pestering me”. But VP has such a great personality and easy to talk to. We would talk for hours on end – and still not want to hang up – and it wouldn’t even be about mushy stuff because we weren’t dating.
But eventually, he wore down my resolve with his great qualities.
The best thing about him is his intelligence. I know that when I am talking it can be a little hard to keep up. I am random, I talk fast, and I say everything at once (I am better with writing) – especially if I am emotional. But not only does he keep up – he is able to completely comprehend what I am trying to say – then add to it to make it clearer… to me!
He must have the most integrity I have EVER seen. Hands down.
And his family is amazing. They are upright Christians who have raised him well. His mother is an astounding cook. She is splendidly skilled in sewing, crocheting, knitting, baking, or any other thing she puts her mind to (then she takes the time to teach me - or anyone who wants to know!). His father is extremely intelligent as well – and very humorous. His sister is fun and easy going. Whenever I go to his parents’ house – which is often when he isn’t even there, I have a great time and stay much longer than I should.
VP is also one of the rare Christians that I know who reads the bible as a text book – and not a book of poems (where scripture means different things to different people at different times). This is the kind of man that I can follow.
This is the best relationship choice that I have ever made. I usually pick the ‘wrong’ guys. Picking those losers allowed me to know what to look for.
So if you are intent on not using good judgment and joining the ranks of millions of other crazy Americans, getting into relationships, please consider a few words of advice from someone who has made more than her fair share of unwise decisions regarding relationships.
Take it sloooow. You find out a lot about a person over time. I know this is easier said than done. If he likes you, and you like him, why not? Right?
Wrong. The longer you make a guy wait (and work) for you, the more he will value you. And if he doesn’t stay around for that long, then he doesn’t like you enough, anyway. Drop him.
You should also stay away from guys that are not true to their word. If he is not a man of his word – he is not a man.
Do a background check. Find out who his friends are. If they are cheaters, losers, and/or liars – it is very probably that he is too. I know that most people don’t think about this but: Check out his family. Where he comes from, has a lot to do with where he is. Also, pay close attention to the way he treats you in regards to his family – especially if he is close to his family. If his family doesn’t know you, you may not be as important in his life as you would like to believe.
If you are smart, you will at least consider the advice. If you are smarter, you will stay single.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Dream Come True...
Guess What!?! I got the job! Not the job I interviewed for in EGO, but a job at the 'Dream Company' I talked about there.
The interview was about week ago. It lasted from 9am to 3pm. Isn't that insane? I had to interview with a series of people - which would take longer than the usual 30-45 min.
The first lady I interviewed with was very impressive. She has one of the highest titles attainable in the company. In order to get this title, you have to do a major research paper and be world-known. She also has 3 daughters that are engineers.
When she asked me what my hobbies were, I thought I was supposed to say something technical (and said as much) but the only thing I could think of that I liked was crocheting. She then surprised me by saying that she liked to do French needlework - and that kind of thing must be technical (because my soon-to-be supervisor is really good at quilting).
Then I interviewed with several of the other supervisors b/c a lot of times they trade employees during certain projects.
The last person that interviewed me was my future supervisor. She asked me a few questions, but talked for most of the time. Then they took me to lunch.
We went to a restaurant located on the top of a hotel that rotated while we ate, for a spectacular view of the city. I was embarrassed for being impressed, seeing as how I am from that city. I should have been to that restaurant before.
Anyway, so at the end of the meal, they were talking about working arrangements, asking me if I could come for the summer. Of course I accepted. I had actually interviewed for Jan because I don't graduate until Dec. But they wanted to 'check me out' before making me permanent. I was happy because I am ready to go back to the city for the summer anyway (this country town that I am living in is a tad boring - besides, practically my whole family is there).
This company forces its employees to be competent. First of all, you have to get/have an advanced degree to work there. Once you get it, you get your first promotion. The second promotion comes after 3 years of working there. The third promotion comes after being well-known and doing massive research.
I really think that the environment of this company would be the best for me because I know that I only do well when I am challenged. Before I my major was engineering - my grades were slightly above average. As soon as I changed my major to engineering, my grades got much better.
Hopefully the same will happen for me at this new company.
The interview was about week ago. It lasted from 9am to 3pm. Isn't that insane? I had to interview with a series of people - which would take longer than the usual 30-45 min.
The first lady I interviewed with was very impressive. She has one of the highest titles attainable in the company. In order to get this title, you have to do a major research paper and be world-known. She also has 3 daughters that are engineers.
When she asked me what my hobbies were, I thought I was supposed to say something technical (and said as much) but the only thing I could think of that I liked was crocheting. She then surprised me by saying that she liked to do French needlework - and that kind of thing must be technical (because my soon-to-be supervisor is really good at quilting).
Then I interviewed with several of the other supervisors b/c a lot of times they trade employees during certain projects.
The last person that interviewed me was my future supervisor. She asked me a few questions, but talked for most of the time. Then they took me to lunch.
We went to a restaurant located on the top of a hotel that rotated while we ate, for a spectacular view of the city. I was embarrassed for being impressed, seeing as how I am from that city. I should have been to that restaurant before.
Anyway, so at the end of the meal, they were talking about working arrangements, asking me if I could come for the summer. Of course I accepted. I had actually interviewed for Jan because I don't graduate until Dec. But they wanted to 'check me out' before making me permanent. I was happy because I am ready to go back to the city for the summer anyway (this country town that I am living in is a tad boring - besides, practically my whole family is there).
This company forces its employees to be competent. First of all, you have to get/have an advanced degree to work there. Once you get it, you get your first promotion. The second promotion comes after 3 years of working there. The third promotion comes after being well-known and doing massive research.
I really think that the environment of this company would be the best for me because I know that I only do well when I am challenged. Before I my major was engineering - my grades were slightly above average. As soon as I changed my major to engineering, my grades got much better.
Hopefully the same will happen for me at this new company.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Research
I have a problem with correctness. In my lifelong quest to become 'perfect' I feel the need to right every wrong. If I let something 'wrong' go unchecked, I feel like I am not being true to myself. Crazy, huh? I know. And it is not like I don't like to be corrected - b/c I do. I welcome correct correction. Consequently, in my quest to be right all the time, I usually am.
I know what you are thinking: She thinks she knows everything. I know that some of you are thinking that b/c I've been told "You think you know everything" more than a few times.
But, I honestly don't think that know everything. As a matter of fact, when I have conceited thoughts about myself - it is never about my knowledge base at all. I think that I know SOME things. No, let me correct that: I KNOW that I know some things.
I always stand to be corrected in things that need correcting. As should everyone.
If someone wants to hold a 'strong' opinion about something, that person should thoroughly research the topic. That way, they will hold the 'correct' opinion or at least one that can be logically defended - without all the drama.
Tithing is a great example. Many Christians get very bent out of shape on this topic.
The bible never commands Christians to pay a tenth of their income. I know many Christians that will have a panic attack in the reading of that statement alone. But it is a fact. I have spent many hours researching the topic of tithing/giving in the bible. Because I have done this, when Christians say: "you are robbing God" I don't have an emotional breakdown and try to convince the person by my yelling and illogical statements.
I calmly ask them to direct me to the scripture they are referring. They usually go to Malachi 3:8-10. But then I ask them why don't we (as Christians) follow the entire Law ( see previous post on 'The Law'), because this is same context from which Malachi was written. Most don't have an answer - well not an answer that will effectively refute my original arguement.
Some that are a little more savvy - will point out that tithing is mentioned in the New Testament when Jesus was talking to the Pharisees Matt 23:23. But we have to keep in mind that when Jesus was on earth, the Jews were still under the Law. The Law wasn't fulfilled until after His death.
In any case, Paul (in his letters to the church) not once mention tithing (except when referring to the Old Testament. see Hebrews 7). But he never commanded us (Christians) to tithe.
I know that this veiw - or shall we say: truth - is not very popular among many Christians because many of us do not study as we should.
In conclusion, if everyone held views on thouroughly researched topics, there would be less angry people in the world.
I stand to be corrected.
I know what you are thinking: She thinks she knows everything. I know that some of you are thinking that b/c I've been told "You think you know everything" more than a few times.
But, I honestly don't think that know everything. As a matter of fact, when I have conceited thoughts about myself - it is never about my knowledge base at all. I think that I know SOME things. No, let me correct that: I KNOW that I know some things.
I always stand to be corrected in things that need correcting. As should everyone.
If someone wants to hold a 'strong' opinion about something, that person should thoroughly research the topic. That way, they will hold the 'correct' opinion or at least one that can be logically defended - without all the drama.
Tithing is a great example. Many Christians get very bent out of shape on this topic.
The bible never commands Christians to pay a tenth of their income. I know many Christians that will have a panic attack in the reading of that statement alone. But it is a fact. I have spent many hours researching the topic of tithing/giving in the bible. Because I have done this, when Christians say: "you are robbing God" I don't have an emotional breakdown and try to convince the person by my yelling and illogical statements.
I calmly ask them to direct me to the scripture they are referring. They usually go to Malachi 3:8-10. But then I ask them why don't we (as Christians) follow the entire Law ( see previous post on 'The Law'), because this is same context from which Malachi was written. Most don't have an answer - well not an answer that will effectively refute my original arguement.
Some that are a little more savvy - will point out that tithing is mentioned in the New Testament when Jesus was talking to the Pharisees Matt 23:23. But we have to keep in mind that when Jesus was on earth, the Jews were still under the Law. The Law wasn't fulfilled until after His death.
In any case, Paul (in his letters to the church) not once mention tithing (except when referring to the Old Testament. see Hebrews 7). But he never commanded us (Christians) to tithe.
I know that this veiw - or shall we say: truth - is not very popular among many Christians because many of us do not study as we should.
In conclusion, if everyone held views on thouroughly researched topics, there would be less angry people in the world.
I stand to be corrected.
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